Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What is the best dating site for a single mom?
There are various dating sites that foster long-term and short-term relationships, marriage, friendship, and casual flings. Each site serves a different purpose.
The best dating site may differ to each individual depending on what features they value the most. For some, it may be safety, security, and privacy. For others, it can be a comprehensive profile and advanced search filters. A few technologically challenged ones may be looking for ease of use. So, one cannot pronounce, exactly which is the best dating site for a single mom.
All the sites mentioned above are the top dating websites for single mothers in their own right. However, based on the success rate, Match.com, eHarmony, and EliteSingles tops the chart.
Is it hard to date a single mom?
Yes, it's no cakewalk; dating a single mom can be challenging. But it depends on you, how you deal with it.
Dating a single mom has its own set of obstacles and struggles, and trust us when we say this, it's not going to be easy. You can take a reality check before you are ready to take a plunge into the relationship.
Some of the reasons why it is hard to date a single mom are –
- Dating a single mother can be emotionally draining at times. When she cancels the date or aborts your big plans because her kids need her, you feel abandoned, and it is a terrible feeling.
- You always have the second place in her priority list, the first one being her kids. You may envy her kids and consider them a rival. You have to fight for her time and attention.
- Single moms with kids have to deal with several unforeseen and unprecedented situations. You have to give up your plans and make other sacrifices to make the relationship work.
- When you date a single mom, her kids also become a part of your life. Knowingly or unknowingly, you start co-parenting them. Problems arise when you are not on the same page with her on parenting style and discipline tactics.
- You may feel a little sad when the single mom you are dating doesn't introduce you to her kids or keep the relationship under wraps. But remember, she is the mother and knows it the best what and when to tell her kids the truth. Till then, you are anonymous to those little humans who mean the world to her. We don't deny that it's hard to live in shadows when you wish to shout and tell the world that you have found the love of your life.
- You may or may not like the kids (in general or specifically her kids). So, no matter how much you like her, she can never be yours minus her kids.
So, yes, dating a single mom is a tough job. If you are not ready for the commitment, sacrifices, and compromises, maybe it's not your cup of tea.
What should I keep in mind while dating a single mom?
The kids are a part of the package when you date a single mom, so is the past relationship's baggage. Few things you should keep in mind while dating a single mom are –
- You have to struggle to carve out your place in the life of her kids. It may take some time; you got to be patient and understanding. No matter how wonderful a person you are, the kids may initially show some hostility for various reasons. It takes time and effort. They ultimately come around and embrace you to be a part of their life.
- You have to accept that her kids are her priority. The happiness and well-being of her kids mean the world to her. If she ever has to choose, she will select her kids over you in a heartbeat. Ensure you understand this pretty well and never give her a chance to choose between her kids and you. Because if you do, you will undoubtedly lose.
- In between making a living and raising her kids, she must really like you if she is spending time with you. Appreciate her for what she is and make each moment you spend with her count.
- Be ready to be a hands-on parent. Her kids are a part of her flesh and blood, and she loves them to death. But it takes a big heart to love someone's kids like your own. You cannot not like the kids, and love the mother. There are no two ways there, where you pick one and leave the other.
- Set the boundaries when the kids are around. Being around all the time or getting intimate and cozy in the kids' presence can make them uncomfortable. You may even lose respect for your cheesy demeanor.
- She may not always be able to keep her promise of meeting you or texting and calling back. She may also cancel or change plans. Be understanding and supportive when she has a hard time. Parenting is a stressful job; don't add to her woes by expecting too much. Try to be consistent in your efforts to make the relationship work. Keep doing little things to show her you care. Appreciate her sacrifices and respect her for all that she is doing to the best of her capacity.
- Be honest about your feelings for her and the kids. Despite her busy schedule, if she invests her time to be with you, she expects some commitment. If you don't feel the same way, let her know that you are not into it for the long haul. Do not play games with her.
- Don't try to replace the father's place in her child's life. Let your bond with the kids grow organically. Don't try too hard, and don't give up either. Be true to yourself and them. In the end, things work out well if your intentions are genuine.
- The lady you love is not some damsel in distress. Don't assume yourself to be her knight in shining armor. A single mother is brave enough to fight a thousand battles for herself and her child. All she wants from you is love and companionship to sail through the tide. She doesn't expect you to be her savior. So, don't act like one.
- If you intend to marry her, brace yourself to be a parent first.
How do you successfully date a single mom?
You like someone smart, confident, strong, and beautiful. You fall head over heels for her. You ask her out. She agrees, and that's how every dating story starts. But there is a catch when that someone you like is a single mother. That's when the dynamics of dating changes. dating a single mom is a different ball game altogether.
When you date a single mom, you have to understand the value of her time. You have to be honest and earn her trust. You have to put in double the efforts to make the relationship work.
Things you should do to date a single mom successfully –
- Understand the difference between dating a single mom and dating a single woman.
- Acknowledge that the kids are her top priority. The little humans in her life are not your competitors. Learn to co-exist with the kids and enjoy your share of her love and affection.
- Don't try to be a father to the kids. Follow her lead when it comes to parenting.
- Support and encourage her while she is trying to repair herself mentally and emotionally. If there is any trouble with her ex, neither get overly involved nor be oblivious to it.
- Don't rush into things, take one step at a time, be calm and patient, let her reciprocate to your feelings when she is ready. Develop mutual trust and respect before you take things forward.
- Be a good listener. Lend her an ear when she is ready to speak about all her bottled-up emotions. Don't give solutions and advice; all she wants is to be heard.
- Give her your time and support. Child care drains her emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially. Help her without making her feel weak and vulnerable. Encourage her and remind her she is doing a great job, and you are proud of her.
- Don't break her trust when she believes in you with all her heart. Be honest in the relationship and loyal to her.
- Developing a bond with the kids is a tricky part. Be natural. Don't try to be someone you are not to make the kids like you. You cannot always pretend. Become a friend to them and not a father figure.
Do single moms find love again?
Yes, single moms can find love again. A plethora of dating sites designed especially for single parents and success stories of single moms finding love again proves the same.
Being single doesn't mean that you are lonely; it just means you are resting your heart until it's ready to love again. Don't force yourself to join the dating sites or go on blind dates if you don't want to.
Don't let your friends and relatives make you believe how miserable you are without a partner. You certainly feel a void when you don't have someone to fall back on. But that doesn't mean your rush into things. Take things slowly. When you set out to find love again, keep the following things in mind-
- Be sure if you are ready to find love and happiness outside of your children. Don't show resistance or hold yourself. Do it at your convenience and pace.
- Venture into the world of online dating. Many dating sites offer a safe and secure dating environment, efficient services, and aids in finding a potential compatible match for a long- or short-term relationship.
- Do things that make you happy and feel great. Follow your passion, pick up a hobby, reconnect with friends, join groups, and learn about single parenting. When you feel and look miserable, you find pity in the eyes of people. But if you are glowing and happy within, you attract them. Attracting and alluring someone to your personality is a sure shot way to find a romantic connection.
- Set your priorities right. Don't let your motherly instinct make you give up your dating life. Similarly, don't let your dating life take precedence over your kids.
- Be proud of yourself and who you are. There is nothing to be ashamed of being a single mother. Be honest, and tell it with pride in your eyes because it takes a lot of strength to be a single mom. When you join a dating site, mention in your profile that you are a single mom. If you meet anyone in person, tell them beforehand how you love your kids and are proud to raise them alone. It takes a man with a heart of gold to love and accept a single mom. Till then, do not lose faith.
Most importantly, shout out to the universe, send positive energy, and be ready to receive love with open arms. Be grateful for all that you have, all you overcame, and all the better things coming your way.
