Skip to main content
Online Dating

10 Best Conversation Starters for Online Dating

How to Start a Meaningful Conversation for Online Dating?

Online dating has gained immense popularity in the last few years. The fact that there are several credible online free dating sites makes them even more accessible to one and all.

However, using a popular dating app means too many prospective suitors. Hence, the challenge is how to stand out. The best way is to impress right from the word ‘go.' But how? How to pique the interest of a prospective partner and begin a meaningful conversation?

Wondering how and what to say to start the conversation? Here are some best conversation starters for online dating.

Conversation Starters For Dating Online

A boring tête-à-tête can be meaningless, be it online or offline, and the interest frizzles out in no time. For more meaningful exchanges, it is crucial to put in some effort and go beyond the mere, ‘How are you?', ‘How's the weather?', and stuff.

Making conversations lively and relevant also helps save time because you can straightaway determine if the person is up to your expectations. In 2021, a study on messages on a popular dating app revealed that about 57% of user conversations are one-message type, which means that almost half of the messages shared on the app are unanswered.

This is why working around the first message is vital to create the right impact.

Here are ten brilliant ideas to start a dialogue with a potential date online.

Research the Person's Profile to Get Cues on Asking Specifics

One good idea is to start digging out details by flipping through the person's profile. It is a great way to find the right first question. Starting a question with phrases like ‘I noticed on your profile that,' or ‘you mentioned.' etc., is a wonderful way to create the right impression.

It shows that you have spent time scrutinizing the person's profile. It gives a feel-good factor to the other person, and hence the chances of responding to your message are higher. It makes the person feel that you are genuinely interested in them.

The biography and the photo are good clue-givers to strike up a conversation with a potential date.

For example – if the bio mentions that the individual loves playing instruments, you could begin by asking,

  1. “Which instruments do you play?”
  2. “How long have you been playing for?”
  3. “Do you dream of becoming a professional player of the instrument?”

Similarly, if the bio mentions that thoughtful gestures touch the person, you can ask,

  1. “What is the most thoughtful thing someone has done for you?”
  2. “Who is the one person that you admire the most?”

If the person's picture has a pet, you can assume safely that they love animals. So, you can ask,

  1. “How long have you had pets?”
  2. “Which animals do you love to have as pets?”
  3. “How do you spend your time with the fluffy companions?”
  4. “What is the name of the pet?”

Sometimes, the profile might say that the person is separated or divorced, looking for a meaningful, committed relationship. A look through the profile will indicate if it aligns with your dating objectives. Accordingly, you can approach the person and phrase a question without stirring up negative memories. “How do you spend your time? Whom do you chat with when you need to talk?” are good examples.

However, make sure that you never ask leading questions. It can be a big spoilsport. For example, instead of asking, “Do you love to travel?” it is better to ask, “Where are you planning to travel next?”

Open-ended Questions

The advantage of asking open-end questions is that it does not restrain or limit the other person's answers. For example, “Do you like sports?” is not typically an ideal question to ask a stranger. What if the other person comes back saying yes or no? Then what? What next?

On the contrary, you could ask, “What are your favorite sporting activities and events?” In this case, there's so much scope for the person to describe their personal likes about specific sports and associated events. Thus, it gives you more insight into the individual.

One thing that you should take care of when asking open-ended questions as a conversation starter is to refrain from asking too many questions simultaneously. It could be overwhelming for the other person.

Also, try and say something about yourself, too; don't limit yourself to simply asking questions.

Examples of open-ended questions are –

  1. “Why did you choose to become a reporter?”
  2. “What kind of books do you like to read?”
  3. “What kind of content do you love to watch on TV or social media?”
  4. “I noticed that you mentioned you love sci-fi. I, too, love science fiction – books and movies. So, which type are you – Star Wars or Star Trek?”

Personalize, No Copy-Paste

Instead of messaging hundreds of prospects, it is advisable that you research a few selected profiles and contact only a handful. So, copy-pasting the introductory question for a bunch of matches will make things worse. Instead, put your creativity to work, choose a few, read through the individual profiles, and then get in touch with each one of them.

The chances of getting a response are more when the introductory message is personalized. If you send a generic message, you will hardly get a response. Thus, go in for quality, not quantity.

So, instead of simply asking, “Do you love books?” the better option is to say,” Hi, I read that you love reading. I am a sci-fi person; what's your genre?”

Don't Ask, Say

Sometimes, the best way to start is to share a thing or two about yourself. Rather than asking, mention or highlight stuff from your profile. It is a good way to introduce yourself to a prospect. Here too, try something common between the two of you.

For example, if the photo of the person shows an outdoor activity, you could start by saying, “Hi. I see that you love the outdoors; me too. I am into camping and hiking, though lately, I have had hardly got the time to engage in an outdoor activity.”

A secret tip is to talk about something you have not mentioned in your bio. Or, even if you have mentioned it, maybe you have left out the details. For example, you may have mentioned in your profile that you love watching movies, but now, you can say, “Hi. I read that you love to binge on Netflix. Same here. I haven't missed a single release on Netflix in the last few months. How about you? What are your favorite movies or series?”

Humor is a Great Ice-Breaker

It is. That is why jokes are cracked to warm the audience through great speakers and trainers in a session. If you have a good sense of humor, why not try it out as a conversation starter at online dating sites?

Of course, the rule is that the humor should not be personal and doesn't get offensive. For example, you can't make fun of someone's skin color or how they look in the profile photo.

Say something funny or in a witty manner. Something like, “I am awful at driving. I learned it so many years back, but I still seem to get it all wrong the moment I sit behind the steering wheel. Some fear from the past life, I guess. How about you? You seem to love driving; which is your favorite ride to date?”

Talk About Current News

If you find that the person's profile mentions them being well aware of what's happening in the world, and if it is a common interest, you can start by talking about any trending news item.

Of course, avoid controversial topics or stay away from political debates. For example, if it's the season of the Soccer World Cup, you could ask, “Hi. I believe you are watching all the matches on TV. I am betting for X team; which is your favorite?”

Enquire About Their Reason For Being Present on a Dating Site

The truth is that both of you are on a dating platform, and you are here to find a prospective date. Hence, there's no harm if you ask the question directly to find out what the other person wants in a partner or what they are looking for at the site.

Of course, you will need to word the question correctly because you can't sound rude or overtly personal initially. For example, you can ask the person if they are looking for a serious long-term or casual relationship.

Take care to read their bio first, though. People often mention such things on their profiles to avoid wasting time. If they have mentioned it, then it is not a good idea to ask them for more details at the onset itself. It might annoy them.

Take Advice

This is a good conversation starter but should be used only when you feel that the person on the other side can advise you on something. For example, if you see that a prospect's photo features the person in a gardening background, and if it is of interest to you, you can ask, “It's good to see that you get the time for gardening. How do you manage? I have some xerophytes at home – can't understand how to take care of them?”

The truth is that people generally love to give advice and suggestions, especially if they are fond of something.

A Thought-Provoking Question

Some people are very philosophical, and they love to discuss intriguing and inspiring topics. With them, you can straightaway start with a deep, meaningful conversation.

For example, you can start with “What does happiness mean to you?” or “What do you fear the most?” “What are the three wishes you want to fulfill in the next few years?”

Remember that you should start such a conversation only and only if you are also interested in such in-depth serious talks. Else, you'll find it all pretty boring in a few days.

Horoscopes and Sun Signs

One relatively uncommon thing these days involves talking about sun and moon signs as a starter. It was a common topic of discussion a few decades back before technology swayed the crowd away from astrology and horoscopes.

Some people, though, are still quite interested in such topics. If both of you share a common interest in the stars, planets, and their positions, take it up as a conversation starter. For example, you could start by saying, “Noticed that you are a Libran. I am a Sagi. Librans and Sagittarians strike off pretty well, I believe. What do you think?”

However, avoid this topic if the other person is not into astrology.


Online dating apps and sites are pretty popular these days as they allow you to meet new people without any regional boundaries. Follow the tips mentioned here to ask the right first question to get things moving in the right direction. Also, always remember to be honest and genuine in your answers and conversations with the other person.