How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Fast?

KEEP CALM AND GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER, GIRL

Breakups are heartbreaking and tormenting. It tears you apart from the inside out. You never know, how long it actually takes to get over a break-up. But, you need to get out of the emotional turmoil. Just because you guys broke up, doesn’t mean you wanted to. Sometimes things get out of hand, and you end up doing what you don’t intend to. That doesn’t mean you can’t fix it. The first step to save a relationship is to use your head, and not your heart. Calm down a bit, think rationally, and not emotionally. You have to stop bashing yourself for what went wrong, or finding faults with your ex. At times, it’s just the situation responsible for the downfall in a relationship.

To win your ex back, you have to be emotionally and mentally strong; as it’s going to be a long battle, and the timid ones don’t win one. You have to adopt a new mindset. Look at the brighter side; rather being drawn in the melancholy. Gather yourself, and the broken pieces of your heart. When you feel weak and vulnerable, take help from friends and family. You don’t have to go through a heartbreak alone. A strong support system can definitely help you stay positive and strong. A break up is not the end of the world. Be hopeful and remain a strong woman, you can still turn things around.

DON’T BE WHINY

The natural tendency for people is to beg and plead for their ex back. Despite how much you may be tempted to beg or plead for another chance, you should never do this. It will make you look weak, desperate, and pathetic. Wondering, what should you be doing then? Well, the first rule to get him back is, to not sound needy and whiny. Hold yourself from taking any impetuous decisions. Don’t make agitating calls to your ex boyfriend right after the break-up. The more desperate you are to get him back, the farther he runs away.

A self-loathing woman is the biggest turn off for a man. Your tears may repel him. That will only affirm him of the decision to part ways. When a relationship fails, give yourself some time to heal. Do not make calls, crying, and begging him to get back together. If he ignores you or rejects your pleas, it will shatter your heart again. Please understand; a break up affects both the partners. Emotionally and mentally, none of you are in a good space. Though you may want him back, he may still be dealing with his own emotional mess. It’s disappointing if he does not reciprocate to your efforts. You may be yearning for him, but he doesn’t need to know this. Always remember; you cannot beg someone to love you the way you love them.

CUT THE CORD

When you are sure, you want to get your ex back; the first thing you have to do is, to not contact him. As surprising as it may sound, sometimes when there’s a lot to be said, one must speak through silence. It’s quite obvious that you have a storm brewing in your heart and mind. You must feel overwhelmed, and desperate to call/text him; to say how much you miss him. But you would be making a fool of yourself if you do that. You may have your own doubts and must be thinking, “what if he forgets me if I just disappear from his life?” But, the truth is removing yourself from the picture, will make your ex miss you. The key to getting your ex back is making him want you.

The first step to getting him back is, to not contact him in any way, for at least four weeks. This also involves not stalking him on any social media platforms. Cut off yourself from his life. Now, this may sound absurd, but this may help you both. Wondering how??

1. The period of no contact helps you get over the heartbreak and pain. As the days go by, you start thinking rationally, rather than emotionally. Not contacting your ex helps you get over the anger and resentment. The startling realization of wanting your ex back won’t be an impulsive decision.
2. Your boyfriend is sailing on the same boat. He is still holding grudges. The bitterness of the break up may be wrenching his heart, just like it is wrecking you inside. As a relationship expert calls it, the days of radio silence (no contact); will give your boyfriend some space and opportunity to heal his pain. As soon as the ugly thoughts are out of his mind, he reminisces the love and memories you shared; and he may even start missing you. Let your absence alter his life, only to make him realize your value. Constant calls and texts to him will not leave any scope for him to miss you, and realize how much he wants you.

Your silence may make him curious and anxious. Wondering how? Well, your ex expects you to go running back to him, so doing exactly the opposite will confuse him, and make him insecure. When you are portraying happiness, and showing him how you have moved on in life, it will hurt him at the right spot. It will ache his heart to find out that you don’t need him. It may also hurt his ego; to know that you are perfectly fine with the idea of finding someone new. This may not be how you actually feel, it’s just important your ex thinks this is the case. The no contact spell makes him realize that you are not as forgettable as he thinks.

As time passes and you’re still not contacting him, he’s going to have a hard time resisting the urge to call you. Now, there is catch here in no contact rule. If your ex tries to contact you in these four weeks, you ought to ignore him. Do not pick his calls, or answer his texts. If you have to talk, keep the conversation short and polite. Don’t get fazed, if you get to know that he is bad mouthing you. Males generally camouflage their anguish in the form of anger. Try to be empathetic, and understand that he is angry and sad. By talking negatively about you, he is just letting out his emotions. Let him vent, and do not retaliate. Ultimately, he will realize that he actually misses you.

WORK ON YOURSELF

Nothing goes away until it has taught us what we need to learn. A broken heart can be a great life-altering experience. Being alone can teach you a thing or two. Break up can give you a chance to detox yourself spiritually, mentally, and physically. Whether you believe in God, or you are an atheist, it will make you stronger mentally. When you realize you want your ex back, you also need to learn to truly let go of your old self; and create and cultivate a new you. Instead of sitting around and thinking about how unhappy you are, focus on improving your work or social life. You can’t force someone to see that you are a blessing. Sometimes, you just have to let them miss out; and work on bettering yourself.

Things you can do to be the best version of yourself

Mental changes

A strong mind is a beautiful one – Train your mind to be stronger than your emotions. Lose yourself from the shackles of the past; pick yourself up, and bounce back. Splitting up any relationship is painful. It’s a terrible feeling; to not know, if he feels the same. But, one thing you can control is yourself. Keep calm, and fall in love with yourself first.

Nourish your spirit – Self-love is the first step to enrich your soul. Rather than obsessing over your ex boyfriend, pursue activities you enjoy. Pick up that paintbrush again, dance your heart out, sing and create music for yourself, read the book you wished to read for so long, play the sport you enjoy, learn new things, accomplish new milestones, try to be productive and have fun while doing it. Focus on living life on your terms. It’s only natural to feel a positive surge of energy once you engage in the activities you enjoy. It will also help you discover a new you.

Rebuild your life – Take time off from the break-up. Reconnect with the friends you lost touch with; because you were so busy building your life together with your boyfriend. Spend time with your friends, visit your parents often, volunteer for the causes you believe in, visit spas and salons, and go on for movies and bowling dates with your girlfriends, plan parties with your friends, go on hikes and treks, join some clubs or classes, take a little break from your routine life and rejuvenate yourself. Just let go off yourself. Sometimes, just feeling good about yourself is therapeutic in itself. Be kind to yourself, and let yourself loose. Do things to boost your self-esteem. Be the same girl with the same name, but with a different mindset and a different game.

Your new version will make you more attractive and desirable for people around you. When your ex notices that you have turned things around for yourself, he can’t help but fall in love again, with the stronger, sexier, and fun-loving woman that you have become. It may seem like you lost the relationship but found yourself.

Physical changes

When you have just lost the love of your life, the broken heart doesn’t feel anything else, but the grief. It’s incredibly painful to accept that you guys are not a couple any longer. But, if you wish to get back together with your boyfriend, there is still hope. If the hope is alive, you definitely don’t want to mess it by looking and feeling terrible all the time. Now that you have the entire time to yourself, utilize it to be the best version of yourself.

Get a haircut or a complete makeover, refresh your wardrobe, join the gym, Pilates or yoga classes and get back in shape, eat healthy, and look after yourself. Make sure you don’t go overboard and do not alter your personality. Just be positive, upbeat, and happy. Get fit, healthy, and look good. Remember who you were before you met him, and the game will change. Don’t be afraid to show the world this by posting some pictures on Facebook, Twitter, or Snap Chat. There are chances that your boyfriend may contact you, especially if you are ignoring him and he finds out about your makeover. If he does contact you, make sure he sees the gorgeous woman; and not some damsel in distress. Though this sounds a little vain, there’s no denying that being physically attractive is a crucial factor in attracting someone.

FRAME YOUR FEELINGS IN WORDS AND PEN IT DOWN

For your sanity, it’s important for you to have an emotional outlet. Break up does shake your inner balance. You spend hours, days, and weeks over-analyzing the situation, trying to put the pieces together. You try to justify what could’ve, would’ve happened. But it’s a redundant exercise. It won’t heal the pain; rather scratching the wounds will hurt you more. A good way to achieve some solace is to let your feelings flow when you feel vulnerable. The best way to do this is to maintain a grief journal. Pen down all your frustration, pain and disappointments in the grief journal. Don’t run away from the negative emotions, let them come out. Putting up a facade of being nonchalant about the situation, and your feelings will only hamper your mental and physical health.

Although there is suffering right now, the best part is hope still exists. You can choose to challenge yourself to control the way you respond to suffering. Just like the grief journal, you can have a dream journal for yourself. Write down your vision for the future in it, and what you want from life. Don’t carry the baggage of your past when you are moving ahead. Describe happiness you want for yourself and your partner; believe that what is coming is better than what is gone.

It’s natural to be at a loss of words when you have so much inside your heart and mind. There is a constant battle between being disheartened and being hopeful. So how do you frame your feelings in words? Sometimes your feelings resonate with quotes or poems or books you read or movies you watch. Those words which you have heard often and used by several generations can be a balm to your aching heart. Read them, but mostly derive hope and strength from the love quotes when your spirits are low

ANALYSE THE REASONS BEHIND FALLING APART

When you want to get your ex back and start over the relationship again, you are presented with two choices: to evolve or to repeat. To evolve, you need to know what went wrong within your relationship, and what caused you to split up. Please understand, when a breakup happens, it is usually not the fault of just one person. You have to be in a positive attitude. Make sure you are empathetic towards the other person. There must be a hundred reasons behind the breakup. Try to understand the reasons, and take them in a positive stride. You can correct the mistakes only when you know what went wrong.

CONSULT THE COUPLES WHO GOT BACK TOGETHER AFTER BREAK UP

There is no easy way to get your ex boyfriend back. But it’s not impossible either. There are people who have done it and are living their happy dream. Talk to your friends, relatives, friends of friend, all people you know, who have got back together after parting ways. Each of them can offer you different advice, and give you a new perspective. They may all have different stories to tell but have the same happy ending that you desire.

Learn from their mistakes and methods. Nobody can assure you the reunion with your boyfriend, but talking to them can surely prevent you from messing up, and doing all the wrong things.

RECONNECT WITH HIM THE RIGHT WAY

Remember the no contact rule we discussed earlier. Well, don’t extend the silence period too long. Absence sure makes the hearts grow fonder, but do not elongate it. Reconnect with your boyfriend at the right time in the right way. Because, unless you reconnect with him, there is no way you could win him back. Breakups aren’t easy, but the first conversation after the break up isn’t easy either. You are overwhelmed with emotions as you get to see or hear him after a long haul. Reconnecting with him can be a chance encounter or a message/comment on social media or just a casual call.

Please understand that we are dealing with a male psyche here, and no one but you can understand your man better. You do have a fair idea of how he reacts and responds to situations. Make sure you keep his idiosyncrasies in mind while you talk to him. If he seems interested, plan a friendly meet up. While you talk to him, make the conversation pleasant. Be easy to talk to. Take a genuine interest in his life. Talk with respect, and be assertive in your conversations. Don’t go overboard with nostalgia or be overly emotional. Let your past remain past, and avoid passing the bug. Play it safe, but don’t shy away from letting him know how glad you are to be talking to him again; meanwhile, also give him an impression that you have moved on.

Though you may be really excited to talk/meet him, make sure to let him know, that you would be perfectly fine if he still needs his space and time to get over whatever happened between you two. It's heartbreaking, but you must respect his feelings and act like it isn’t a big deal. You can always try again; if you hope that it’s definitely going to be you and him in the end.

Few things to keep in mind when you reconnect are:

• Before you make the call or text him, make sure you know what you’re going to say in your message, and make sure it’s light-hearted and thoughtful. A short pointless text won't stir up the emotion or give your ex a reason to respond. Make sure your call/text has a purpose. Say something that will remind him of a great time you spent together. Keep the phone call easy, breezy, and brief. Always be the one to end the phone call. Sound upbeat and confident.
• If you are meeting him for the first time after the break up, come across as a woman he fell in love with, in the first place; rather than the one he broke up with. Be the calm, confident smooth talker he always admired. If the meeting is not a chance encounter, and you have planned the meet deliberately, make sure you stay positive and avoid bringing up the relationship. Have a simple, straight forward foolproof plan for the first meeting after the break up. Though it’s not actually the first time you will be seeing this person, but if you want to start over again, consider this meet to be the first time, with a new you and the new relationship with the same person.

START FRESH

You can’t rewrite your past; but, you can grab a clean sheet of paper and write your future. The relationship you had with your boyfriend is over. The efforts you are putting in to get him back are starting to show results. You and your ex start spending time together. It’s key that you take things slowly. If your rush things, they will blow. It can be hard to go turtle speed when you are making up for the lost time, and are already so familiar with each other. But taking it slow is the key to avoiding the same mistakes that caused your break up last time.

When he seems equally keen to start over again, don’t commit the mistake of picking up right from where you left. Do not resume the doomed relationship. Bury the past and start fresh. You’ve both changed since the break up and need to take time to get reacquainted. The best way to avoid rushing into anything is by treating it as a brand new relationship.  Design a whole new relationship with your boyfriend. Discard the old one which failed. Create a new one that is stronger. Remember, this time you are not starting from scratch, but starting from your experience.

When you are ready to start over again, think, and rethink what you are ready to give in to this relationship. Communicate what you expect out of the new relationship, and your boyfriend. It’s natural to be excited to start over again with the one you think is made for you, but make sure to not sound desperate. Before you two get back together again, forgive each other and forget the things gone by.  Understand each other’s value in your lives and appreciate your second chance. Don’t forget to work on the new relationship. Remember, all things worth having, take time, and hard work.

Each break up is unique, but equally, heart-wrenching. When you decide to take up the arduous task of getting back your ex-boyfriend, it will be a journey full of pain, self-discovery, enlightenment and contentment. Hope the ideas suggested here help you to get your ex boyfriend back. And may you find your happiness with him.