You come back home after meeting an amazing guy. You thought everything went well from conversation to chemistry to shared interests. Then, you eagerly anticipated him to give you a call. You waited for a day and then it became 2. Then you finally texted him or called him, you realized he has blocked you.
You are flabbergasted and confused and only one thing goes in your mind– WHAT WENT WRONG?
Search online; the internet searches will assure you that you are not alone in this bewilderment.
I mean what is with men. They say it’s the women who are complex, but most women also have a hard time cracking what do men really want.
Moreover, we are not talking about a date that went bad and guys left in haste. These guys genuinely showed interest, showed mutual attractions, and women felt an undeniable connection.
No matter how many days passes you still cannot point finger at what went wrong. You start overanalyzing your behavior, start finding fault in yourself, and ask yourself; WAS IT ME?
According to experts, in dealing with modern-day relationships, there are several common reasons as to why men pull a Houdini on women after the first date.
Women and men communicate in different ways. While women tend to be talkative and love solving their problems, men tend to dust their problems under the rug. Most men who are inexperienced in dating or relationship matters purposely become withdrawn, when they are expected to handle problems in relationships.
Our dating coaches have come up with a standard list of 5 probable reasons why guys disappear after the first date.
1. He’s just not that attracted to you
Perhaps you are on cloud nine and happy about how your date went. However, we hate to burst your bubble, the guy you met may not share the same feeling.
Men have more than one reason for not finding women appealing. Even if you are extremely attractive, for some men that’s not a reason enough to go for a second date. There are several verbal and non-verbal gestures that men give out but mostly we fail to notice them in this euphoria of the first date.
He may talk about the next date with you, but you need to sense the eagerness in his tone and whether he genuinely wants to meet you next time. Moreover, if you are dating a professionally successful man who has a busy lifestyle, you need to understand the situation from his perspective as well.
Pay attention to what he says, while extending compliments or making future plans. If the guy is genuinely interested, he can’t fail to give you a get in touch with you, as soon as the date got over.
2. Timing is off
No matter how great your chemistry was on your first date, if you both aren’t looking for the same thing then it will go nowhere.
You might be craving for him to give you hearts and flowers but all he was thinking about having no-strings-attached sex. He might have genuinely liked you, but he decided to dis-continue knowing he could not be serious in the long term.
3. Deal breakers
Anything can be a deal-breaker. It all depends on what the guy considers as a limit. It can be about something you said unknowingly on a date and he made a decision based on that.
We asked a few men on what meant a hard limit for them. For some guys, it was the difference in religious beliefs, and for some, it boils down simply to the difference in lifestyles.
In the end, it’s simply about whether he feels that you are worth enough to compromise what he so strongly believes in.
4. They don’t think you’re into them
Guys can be nervous on their first date. Though it changes once they gain some experience eventually. However, most men still struggle to comprehend whether their date interested in them.
Sometimes you have to show them a bright neon sign to tell them that you genuinely like them (not literally though).
If you are someone who is guarded and playing it hard to get or you are not good at expressing your emotions, the guy can catch wrong signals from you.
There are some signals that we recommend you avoid on your next first date.
- Texting or taking phone calls during a date, unless you must do it.
- Not smiling enough and look withdrawn.
- Not participating in the conversation and restricting your responses to just nodding and single words.
5. You could be coming across too eager
There is a fine line between showing that you are interested and looking too eager. So, there is a possibility that you come across too eager and scared him away.
Men are not anti-relationship, but the first date is not something when they have a relationship in their minds. Guys long for women who bring best out of them and they feel happier being with. However, if you tell them that you are going through a bad phase in life or hate being single, they are likely to pursue a relationship with you.
Of course, no women scream out on their first date that they are depressed and looking for men to make them happier. But you do give out some non-verbal and verbal signals. Any smart guy will be able to piece together whether being in a relationship with you is going to be a liability or a good thing. He can surely sense from your conversation how to enjoy life and things you do in your life. If you tell him, you don’t like your job, your friends or your life in general–then he is for sure going to avoid the next date with you.
If you are reading this, it means you are spending so much time on finding closure for your failed first dates. Whatever was his reason for ghosting you, the important thing is that he was not right for you.
But hey, it is your life. You can’t wait for men to give you happiness. Be cool, what happened has happened and just move on. Check out the tips for meeting an online date for the first time and get ready for your next date.
If it’s your just first date, it’s perfectly fine. If you are in a relationship for a long time, and the guy goes away, you can go through our tips of getting your ex boyfriend back.
Start taking care of yourself. Enjoy your life to an extent that you could be completely contented with yourself. It may sound cliché but once you start to love yourself and stop trying too hard to find love, love will inevitably find you.