Best BDSM Dating Sites


Sexual instinct is the most powerful, pre-dominant, and important instinct we have. Human sexuality is extremely creative. And BDSM is simply an expression of one's sexuality. It's not bizarre or unusual. It's unique and special in its ways.

Whether you are a newbie or an experienced BDSM enthusiast, take pride in your non-conventional sexual choices. There is nothing shameful about having unusual forms of sexual expression, all kinds of sexual activities between consenting individuals are fundamentally healthy and pleasurable.

A wise person has rightly said, “Don't settle for a spark when you can have the whole damn fire.”

BDSM lifestyle is lovemaking with burning passion and intensity (and a hell lot of props, blimey). It gives people a chance to explore their deepest fantasies and fetishes. Finding people who are keen to experience the fetishes and kinks is a bit difficult. To help you spot people who have the same quirks and dark desires as you do, we have reviewed top 10 BDSM dating sites.

Top 10 BDSM Dating Websites Review

Adult Friend Finder


Relationships: Affairs, Hookups
Profiles:
All singles*
Gender Ratio:
65% male and 35% female*
User Base:
25.5 million visits/month*
Popularity:
Over 100 million active users worldwide*
User Rating:
3.5/5.0*

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AdultFriendFinder (AFF) is the most favored hook up site on the block. Since its inception in 1996, the site has garnered over 100 million members across the world. This site caters to everyone, no matter what their sexual orientation or marital status is.

AFF is the best place to satisfy all your fetishes, fantasies, and kinks, whether you are looking for a fuck buddy or one-night stand or you wish to do something nasty between the sheets. With a diverse and ever-increasing database, you are sure to find someone to satiate your sexual indulgences.

Special features


  • Signing up on this site is a cake-walk. A never expiring, the all-access free membership is a cherry on the cake.
  • The site facilitates communication between its members via messages, emails, 24*7 Nude Cam Chats, open-ended community forums, private chat rooms, live group chats, audio, and video calls, option to live stream, and hosting erotic blogs.
  • AFF has extremely efficient privacy and safety features that allow anonymity to its members, block creeps, spammers, and scammers.
  • This site offers numerous search parameters to ease the search. It also provides an option for customized search and offers content filters. The intuitively designed tools suggest compatible matches.
  • The site has an app for Android devices. It has a mobile-friendly interface and features for seamless navigation on the go.

This award-winning global hook-up site is a one-stop-shop for singles, couples, swinger, and groups looking for BDSM, threesomes, swinging, cheating, one-night stands, fetishes, and other sexual activities. All in all, we can say AFF is a sexual paradise for horny and kinky daters.

BeNaughty


Relationships: Dating, Hookups
Profile: All singles*
Gender Ratio: 48% male and 52% female*
User Base: 13.3 million visits/month*
User Rating:  3.7/5.0*

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BeNaughty is a fun casual dating site straight out of your dreams. With its oh-so-awesome features, this hook-up site is perfect for all your sexual adventures. Whether you are single, married, or a swinger, the site facilitates all kinds of physical and virtual sexual experiences amongst sexually aroused people.

This exciting and interactive dating site lets you drop your guard and actualizes all your kinky fantasies and fetishes. It has distinguished itself from the pack of hook-up and Swinger dating sites by focusing on its members' chemistry, compatibility, and sexual preferences, providing a whole new experience to its members.

Special features


  • The safety, security, and privacy of its members is the topmost priority of this site. Geotrust, a highly advanced anti-fraud system, secures the network, protects the members from scammers and spammers.
  • The site facilitates interaction amongst the members via communication channels like live chat, group chat, sharing videos and photos, etc. The chatting function is similar to Facebook Messenger, where the message pops up when you receive one.
  • The site offers various flirt tools like winks, swiping games like Cute or Not, Hot or Not, a favorite list. The site keeps a tab on members you like, members who liked you, and the matches made.
  • Basic and comprehensive search filters help sort and find a match based on appearance, lifestyle, and sexual aspects.
  • The Best for you section identifies and suggests the most compatible matches.
  • Flirtcast is one of a kind messaging system offered by the site. You can broadcast a standard message to numerous members once every 12 hours. It saves time and lets you reach out to several members in a single go.
  • Promote my account highlights your profile, improves your visibility, and also sends messages and winks to potential matches on your behalf.
  • The site offers customizable safety settings allowing a member to browse incognito. They can opt for Basic safe mode or Full safe mode to keep their identities and personal details safe.

A large and diverse user base of open-minded people, round the clock customer service, a user-friendly interface makes BeNaughty the best dating site for kinky daters looking for X-rated sexual encounters or cybersex. So, you can leave the façade and sign up to find someone as naughty, lustful, and kinky as you.

FetLife.com


FetLife Dating Site

Relationships: BDSM Social Networking
Profile: All singles, couples, queer, transgender*

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As the name suggests, FetLife is a fetish dating site developed by BitLove Inc. in 2008. The creator and support team of this dating site are kinksters themselves, so they are extremely dedicated to better the site's dating environment and features. FetLife serves as a social media platform for kinky people and is popularly known as Facebook for kinksters.

FetLife is not just a dating site; it is an expansive community of like-minded individuals eager to explore the world of BDSM, kink, and fetish. The site welcomes curious newbies wanting to explore sexual fetishes. This dating space is an all-in-one platform for kinky people to learn, experiment, and experience all their fantasies.

Special features


  • Fetish is a feature that allows members to opt from more than 60 fetishes and redirects them to members and groups having the same interests.
  • Perv Kinskster Nearby on the explore tab helps you find kinky people near your location or around your area.
  • FetLife is also available as an app for Android phones. A simple and straightforward user interface makes the navigation seamless.
  • Members of this site can participate in discussion boards or group conversations, interact through private messages, and share videos and pictures with other members.

FetLife is a haven for people of all sexual orientations to experience their most profound and wildest sexual desires and fantasies. You also learn a thing or two about steaming up action between the sheets. Let go off all your inhibition and make your sex life raunchier than ever.

Fetster


FETSTER.com

Relationships: BDSM relationship
Specialty: 100% Free BDSM dating site*
Profile: All singles, couples, transgender, transsexual, poly*

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Fetster is a dating site that celebrates fetishes in all forms. This non-judgemental BDSM dating site is 100% free for people of all sexual orientations. It is a BDSM dating site, a social networking site, and a community for anyone exploring their fetishes and kinks.

Fester is perfect for those kinky singles and couples who are about to make a debut in the BDSM world as they would feel welcomed and at ease. The well-endowed userbase guarantees a match with similar kinks and fetishes.

Special features


  • Privacy and safety of members hold top priority. Members can choose what they wish to share and with whom.
  • The site is simple and easy to use. You can design your profile and make it as personal as you want by adding blogs, pictures, vlogs, etc.
  • Members can make their groups and forums or form a community and administer them in their ways.
  • The extended search features with more specialized criteria help members find a partner down to the last detail. The distinguished filters allow you to handpick your BDSM partner.
  • Members can communicate through messaging, unlimited mail, sharing pictures and videos, sending and receiving gifts, live chats, writing or sharing blogs and links, joining forums, confessions, and more.

With Fester, it is easy to find people who embrace the distinctive side of their sexuality and are ready to explore new and exciting relationship dynamics. It is the ideal place for BDSM and fetish enthusiasts seeking a partner.

LesbianPersonals


LesbianPersonals

Relationships: Friendship, casual date, serious relationships
Profiles: All lesbian, bisexual, and queer women*
User Base: 500,000 visitors/month*
User Rating:  4.2/5.0*

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A part of Friend Finder Network, LesbianPersonals is a renowned international dating site for lesbians, bisexuals, queers, and curious women. As the name says, this female-friendly dating site facilitates love connection, friendship, and hook-ups between like-minded ladies keen to experience sexual fetishes and kinks.

Based on the philosophy, “only a woman knows what other women want,” this unique dating site is an excellent pick for single women seeking girl on girl action as wells as bisexual couples looking for a unicorn. The exceptionally designed features and a simple sign-up procedure is pure bliss for women of all kinds.

Special features


  • The primary and advanced search tool helps you find the most compatible matches from the millions of users.
  • Lesbians worldwide can communicate with other women on the site via instant messenger, have a video chat via a two-way webcam, or a voice chat. Members can also post videos, pictures, and publish their blog posts.
  • This dating site also serves as an international community for lesbians around the world.
  • The site provides a safe and positive dating experience to all its female members. Protecting the privacy of their members is their topmost priority.

LesbianPersonals is an oasis for lesbians with sexual fetishes. This niche dating site saves you from the annoying male members and their gross unsolicited dick pics with a men free dating environment. Join LesbianPersonals and dive into the world full of wonderous women.

MenNation


MENNATION Dating Site

Relationships: Date, friendship, romance, hookup
Specialty: World’s Largest Gay Dating and Hookup Site*
Profile: All gay singles and couples*

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MenNation is a legit sexual kingdom for all gay, bisexual, queer, trans, bicurious, or pansexual males worldwide. Men join this trustworthy dating site to find a partner to satisfy their emotional or physical needs and explore new sexual experiences. MenNation is a safe and user-friendly gay dating website with a large and diverse pool of members.

A Utopia in the dating world, MenNation is the perfect place to find love, friendship, or a casual hook up. This website also serves as a one-stop solution to quench the thirst for the kinks and fantasies of gay and bisexual men worldwide.

Special features


  • Cupid service is an exclusive feature offered by this niche site. The site's matchmaking algorithm matches your profile with other members and suggests the most compatible matches.
  • The site members can communicate with ease through instant messages, texts, emails, free chat rooms, voice and video calls, live chat, or engage in discussion on an online forum. They can also share sexually explicit videos.
  • An unusual but fascinating feature of this site is video broadcasts. It is in-person webcam entertainment. Members can use this feature to captivate other members as well as to earn money.
  • Browse is an outstanding feature that tells you the number of members around your location and helps find partners in the nearest locality.
  • The numerous filter parameters like location, age, sex, lifestyle, physique, bedroom preference, and positions, etc., ease your search for the men of your dreams.
  • The site further offers features like individual blog posts, engaging and informative articles in the site's magazines, and screening erotic videos and porn.

Intending to keep the rainbow flag high, MenNation promises never to let a member go empty-handed without finding a date, a fuck buddy, or a loveable partner. Join this site and set out on your love or lust journey.

Friend Finder-X


FriendFinder-X

Relationships: Casual encounters, hookup
Profile: All singles & couples*
Gender Ratio: 64% male and 36% female*
User Base: 1.2 million visits/month*
Popularity: Over 90 million active members worldwide*
User Rating:  3.6/5.0*

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A pioneer in casual dating sites, FriendFinder-X has a discrete and extensive user base. Just as the name suggests, you can find friends with benefits on this casual dating site. The site connects people with similar desires and mindsets and proposes various relationship types to choose from.

The site also has a social networking community called Friend Network to unite people with bizarre fetishes and kinks worldwide. The level of naughtiness and nudity on this site makes it nothing short of a sexual wonderland. For those who wish to indulge in mind-blowing sexcapades, FriendFinder-X is the right place to be.

Special features


  • The dating experience on this site is enriching. Features like daily horoscopes, photo ratings, interactive FriendFinder Magazine, and advice forums enhance the member experience multi-folds.
  • Member can start interaction by exchanging videos and pictures with other users or participate in live chats and two-wats webcams.
  • The flirt tools like winks, likes, hot or not games, “Live Action” section serves as ice-breakers. They help initiate the interaction between the members in a casual and relaxed way without saying much.
  • The male-female ratio on this site is 40:60.
  • FriendFinder Magazine publishes articles, polls, and advice by its members. It's a magazine by the members for the members.

FriendFinder-X is a dating space for people to satiate their sexual craving and a sense of community and belonging. Join this site if you want to be amongst people with similar mindsets and desires.

BDSM Date


BDSM Date

Relationships: BDSM relationship
Profile: All singles, couples, TS, TV, TG*

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The name makes it obvious what is BDSM date. The words plastered over the main page says it is the largest BDSM dating site for local kinky hook-ups and fetish lovers. Whether you are an experienced or novice in exploring the BDSM lifestyle, this site offers everything you need to satisfy your kinky cravings and turn your fantasies into realities.

This free to join BDSM dating site has millions of members of all ages, orientations, ethnicities, backgrounds, and cultures. The site offers multiple options for the kind of sexual encounter and the role you want to play. It's a sexual playground for the kinky singles and couples to find local partners ready to play, hook up, and have fun.

Special features


  • The site is active on social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter. People can join these platforms to meet like-minded people and join a community of BDSM enthusiasts worldwide. These platforms posts original content from their BDSM blogs on these platforms.
  • Users can make intro videos and view other peoples' intro videos.
  • A web app is available on any device and thus is easily accessible anywhere.
  • Members choose to keep their BDSM lifestyle open or a secret. The site respects its members' privacy and connects them to other kinksters while keeping their identities anonymous if they chose so.

This dating site is a perfect mix of global and local in the real sense. With millions of members worldwide and a thriving community of kinky people, the site helps you locate the kinkiest stranger with similar interests in your locality. If you are looking to explore your kinks and fetishes, you can meet local doms and subs on this site without wasting any time.

Bondage Pal


BondagePal Dating Site

Relationships: BDSM relationship
Specialty: Bondage, Fetish, Kink, Alternative*
Profile: All BDSM singles, couples, trans*

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Bondage Pal is a BDSM dating site designed specially to help a dominant woman find a submissive man. This easy to join, free BDSM dating site is devised on the motto, “Ropes but no string.” It is the safest BDSM dating site for newbies interested in the fetish and kinky lifestyle.

This ethical, genuine, and professionally made dating site connects like-minded sexually aroused singles and couples to accomplish their sexual endeavors.

Special features


  • The members have elaborate options for gender and sexual orientation choices.
  • In-depth profiles help find better matches.
  • The site's comprehensive blog section has articles about all kinky topics, erotic stories, and trending fads in the ever-changing dating community.
  • The site has designed a unique system to keep the website safe and provide a positive environment to its users.
  • Members can exchange messages and pictures with their matches. The swapping is quick, private, and secure.
  • The site emphasizes communication between members on a more personal level. Thus, it does not have any chat groups or forums.
  • Members can choose to have a free or a paid account. The paid version offers VIP benefits, which includes international messages, VIP badges, no advertisements, unlimited messaging
  • The male-female ratio on this site is 15:1 giving the hotties a palate of varied options.

It is an exemplary dating site for No strings attached relationship with good girls doing bad things. If you are interested in meeting sexy local mistress or dominatrixes, Bondage Pal is what you need to be.

ALT.com


ALT.com

Relationships: BDSM relationship
Profile: All singles, couples, TS, TV, TG*

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ALT.com is a leading international dating site with two decades of experience in matching amateurs and experienced BDSM lovers. The site welcomes all individuals, couples, and groups having a sexual appetite for fetish and kinky stuff.

With more than 600,000 active monthly users, ALT.com is a fun community of like-minded people looking for sexual adventures with no strings attached. This sex forward dating site is the place you need to be; if you are interested in all types of sexy cosplay, spanking, cuckolding, and everything in between.

Special features


  • Cupid Report feature shows you, potential sex partners. This feature matches you based on your profile details and ensures you always have new matches to connect.
  • A unique feature of this site is Astrological compatibility, which shows the zodiac signs you are compatible with, the Chinese zodiac sign, and your sexual biorhythm chart.
  • Members on this site can write testimonials for each other on their profiles.
  • Members have 24*7 access to customer support.
  • Members can host personal blogs to share about themselves and their real-life experiences.
  • com magazine is a magazine by members for the members to provides advice, information, and erotic or BDSM material.
  • Who's viewing me features shows you who has been checking out your profile
  • Members can broadcast live videos to express themselves. They can also share bondage videos, kinky fetishes, SM (Sado Maso) fantasies, and BDSM porn.

With free registration, easy sign-up, and verified profiles to ensure its members' safety and privacy, this site serves as an ultimate play destination for all who practice erotic, BDSM, and fetish sex. If you are the one who enjoys alternative and BDSM lifestyle, Alt.com has got you covered.


Bottom line

Not everyone in the world is looking for love. Some people want to explore themselves, their bodies, and their sexual limits. Singles, couples, and groups with unconventional choices in bed have a hard time finding people with whom they can experience their wildest fantasies and weirdest fetishes.

Luckily, we have lots of fun, safe and non-judgemental BDSM sites that can unlock a new world of sexual adventures, thrilling highs, and orgasmic pleasures. Everyone deserves sexual freedom to express themselves and attain the most satisfaction possible.

The above mentioned BDSM dating websites might help you on your lust journey to attain the most incredible sensation of pleasure.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)


What does BDSM mean?

The abbreviation BDSM was coined and recorded in 1990-95 by blending the letters B&D (Bondage and Discipline), D&S (Dominance and Submission), and S&M (Sadism and Masochism).

The meaning of BDSM is much profound than breaking down the abbreviation into simple terminologies. Bondage, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism are not just sexual terms. Rather BDSM is a lifestyle choice comprising various sexual activities and erotic practices. It is an expression of one's uniqueness of their sexuality.

In brief, BDSM means physical, psychological, and sexual power-role-play with consensual participants to push and overcome sexual limitations and have an epic sex life.

It entails an exchange of sexual prowess through dominance and submission. People involved in this process have different sexual preferences and exhibit different levels of erotic and aggressive behaviors.

BDSM also means erotic pleasure derived from roleplay, dominance, and submission. The whole idea behind this concept is that participants derive pleasure by commanding physical control, psychological domination, and inflicting pain.

A prevalent misconception is that it is associated with general sadism and all about pain. Sure, some like pretty aggressive or passionate sexual acts, but that's not all that BDSM is. In reality, it is rooted in power play, and pleasure. It can be fun, artistic, and also satisfying. BDSM is about augmenting your sexual experiences. In a healthy BDSM relationship, partners set their boundaries and focus on pleasing each other.

A lot of kinky dynamics, fetishes, eccentric sexual practices and erotic behavior fall under the BDSM umbrella. However, sometimes it doesn't involve sex at all. For instance, just the act of bondage or dominance can turn on and pleasure a person, making sexual penetration non-essential.

BDSM transcends the pleasure from the physical to the psychological aspect. They add new and exciting dimensions like blindfolds, masks, roleplay, whips, chains, leather ensembles, etc., to the age-old lovemaking. This erotic experiment adds a psychological layer and sparks different feelings and sensations, heightening the pleasure to another level.

When the parties involved agree upon a specific time to indulge in a sexual/erotic act, that particular time is called a “play,” a “scene,” or a “session.” A significant factor when carrying out BDSM is consent, as it involves pain, physical control, and suppression.

The foundation of this concept is satisfying your partner's needs, pleasuring them, and clear communication to convey that each of you is doing well. It's vital that partners are comfortable with each other, share sexual interests and mindsets, have a deep understanding, know the intentions, respect the boundaries, and feel safe and cared for in the relationship. It is about pushing your sexual limits, not surpassing them.

How can I introduce BDSM into my relationship?

Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy and other interesting BDSM movies have created quite a hype about BDSM amongst the public. Though BDSM is not a novel concept, this particular lifestyle has garnered much publicity lately. Singles and couples are curious to try it out. But most often, they are clueless about where and how to begin.

All those eager to explore their shades of grey and sexuality must take things easy. Don't nosedive into the BDSM ocean. It's too wide and deep. Wet your feet, test the water, and see if you are comfortable with the sexual practices and erotic behavior that it entails.

According to sex educators, BDSM can add multiple flavors to your otherwise vanilla relationship. Introducing it in a relationship is a good idea. However, the foremost requirement is to have both parties' mutual trust and consent to indulge in it.

You can introduce BDSM into your relationship by taking one step at a time:

  • The first thing you must do is believe kink/BDSM is perfectly healthy and a safe way to satisfy your sexual desires. Wrap your head around the idea, and do not be overwhelmed about wanting to experience BDSM. You can genuinely enjoy it only if you remove the embarrassment attached to it in your mind.
  • The next thing is to do your research. It helps remove the stigma attached to BDSM. Attend informative sessions on BDSM tube, join a BDSM chat room, read extensively about it (start with BDSM erotic fiction), get in touch with people having experience of this lifestyle and sexual practices, listen to podcasts. Gather as much information as you can.
  • Bring up the subject of trying out BDSM with your partner. You can show them a video and tell them how eager you are to try it out. Or you can have a conversation about your feelings about kinky sex. This open communication helps build intimacy and trust between partners, whether or not, they agree to venture into the arena of pain and pleasure that BDSM offers.
  • Before introducing BDSM into the bedroom and starting your sexual explorations, start dirty talking. Take baby steps and explore kink with satin laces, masks, blindfolds, simple wrist cuffs, erotic spanking, sexy lingerie before you explore it more intensely.
  • Before heading to more aggressive sexual acts to heighten the sensation and pleasure, it's essential to learn the skills of kinky sex. BDSM is a great sexual adventure, and just like any other sport, you need the training to gear up for the hard stuff. Learn the basics and get trained before you move forward and embrace the enticing BDSM lifestyle.

You may wonder why BDSM when you are doing just fine with your simple, no-frills sex life. It brings excitement, thrill, and novelty to the relationship. BDSM is all about discovering new things about yourself and your partner. You push your boundaries to have better experiences, empower the dormant facets of your personality, strengthen the trust between the partners, and learn to share, express, and feel new things.

How to find a BDSM partner?

The whole idea of BDSM and kinky sex has changed in recent years. It has become more acceptable and mainstream. More people interested in this lifestyle are coming out, and the community is only growing larger each day. Unlike the olden days, you have a lot of options today. All you need to know is where to look.

Here is a guide to find your perfect BDSM partner:

  • Join FetLife. It is a social networking site for kinksters. It has over five million users and serves as a one-stop solution for all your queries.
  • Online BDSM dating sites are a great place to find a potential partner. You can narrow down your search according to your specific preferences and find the most compatible match in the nearest locality. The list of best kinky dating sites is given above. Explore different sites to look for a kinky partner online.
  • You can also try mainstream dating sites. Some of these sites have a category option for BDSM. The suggested matches are made following your preferences and choices you selected.
  • We live in a digital world, but spending all your time behind the screen to find a perfect kinky partner for yourself won't get you anywhere. You have to get out and meet people. As per research, the best way to find a partner is to meet people in person. If you wonder where to look for kinky people offline, you can try kinky events.
  • Kinky events – These events are a great place to find a kinky partner. Whether or not you find the one for you at such an event, you most definitely foster friendship during such events. These friends can set you up with their other kinky friends.
  • Munches – A munch is a gathering of kinky people held at a restaurant, bar, or a casual venue. The focus of such meetings is on social interactions. Attendees have many chances to talk to people, get to know them, learn new things, and find other such events.
  • Kink Clubs and play parties – Just like you pick up a date at a club or play party in vanilla dating, finding a BDSM date has the same scenes. There are dedicated clubs for kinky people where you meet like-minded people and form connections.
  • Gay and Lesbian bars – If you identify as homosexual searching for a kinky partner, this is the place for you.

Lastly, if you don't wish to attend any BDSM specific events, go to a place you enjoy. It increases the odds of finding someone compatible with you.

Will I hurt my partner in a BDSM relationship?

No. You may not hurt your partner if you take care of the fundamental principle of the BDSM relationship. The basic principle of BDSM is to perform with the informed consent of both the parties. The sexual activities should be safe, partners should be of sound mind, and there should be mutual consent.

The whole premise of a BDSM sexual lifestyle is that pain and pleasure go hand in hand. As the philosopher Edmund Burke once said, “the sensation of pleasure derived from pain is sublime.”

It is challenging to define safe when sensual experiences, such as pinching; biting; scratching with fingernails; erotic spanking, electrostimulation, the use of crops, whips, liquid wax, ice cubes, fixation by handcuffs, ropes, or chains may occur. No activity is truly safe, as each of them has a different level of risk. Indulging in such acts may cause pain, but if taken care of and communicated well between the parties, it won't hurt or cause injuries to the parties involved.

BDSM play is structured so that consenting partners can withdraw their consent at any point during the scene. Before getting into the action, partners need to agree upon a safe word. A safe word/safe symbol is a way to indicate your partner to stop or an outright withdrawal of consent. Any action should come to a screeching halt on uttering the safe word. You may hurt your partner if you fail to honor the safe word. Dishonoring the safe word is also considered as serious misconduct or crime as per law.

BDSM is a blend of pain, pleasure, and power play. It's natural to be scared about hurting the partner while exploring your sexual limit. To avoid hurting your partner, the parties involved must discuss the boundaries, communicate what and how you feel, discuss what's acceptable to both the partners, trust each other, and not transgress the limits discussed and negotiated. If these things are taken care of, you may not cause any damage to your partner.

Do dominants really love and care for their submissive?

BDSM is a two -way street relationship, where dominants are likely to take control, lead and be assertive while the submissive surrenders themselves and follows their doms.

The answer to this question can't be in black and white. It depends on the parties involved. BDSM partners share different types of relationships. And it depends on the kind of relationship the partners share.

Married couples indulging in BDSM have love and care in their relationship. The same holds for other committed couples. While the area is still grey for the partners who indulge in BDSM for the pleasure and satisfaction they derive out the kinky sexual acts. They may or may not love and care for each other.

Some dominants really love and care for their submissive; some don't. However, the crucial part of a BDSM relationship is trust, consent, respecting the boundaries, and open communication.