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How to get him to text you first?

Texting when alone

How to get a guy to text you first?

If you are looking for someone to date, or there is a guy whom you think you like and would want to date, getting him to text you first is a must. It is also useful since you don’t have to contemplate the ‘rules’.

Let us be real for a while, we know it can get confusing very easily- not being able to send more than a text in a row, taking some time to reply to his messages so that you don’t seem too eager. There is a lot to process and it can be a buzzkill at times.

However, there is another side to the entire scenario- is he even worth trying to get the first text from?

It is true that some of them are playing hard to get, others might simply not be into you. It’s sad, but nonetheless true. In a situation where a guy does not want to make the effort of texting you back no matter what it is, it is time to accept the fact that he does not want to talk to you.

However, before coming to that conclusion you must have to figure out whether he is worth trying to get to text you first. It is important to understand whether he genuinely likes you. He puts in the effort while carrying on a conversation and you understand that he craves a deeper connection with you. But, for some unknown reason, he waits for you to make the first move.


Before diving into the dos and don’ts, here is a quick reminder- some guys love to chat via text messages, while there are few who completely despise it. However, if a man truly likes you, with these few tips from us, you will be able to get him to text you first.


It might seem like something bizarre and outlandish, but you need to keep a check on your availability. In simpler words, you cannot always be free and available to talk all the time! Think about it- the more time you dedicate to him, the less likely it is for him to text you first.

Hence, keep your distance. Don’t cut him off completely, or ignore him, but make sure that he does not take your availability for granted. Let him miss you, and he would definitely want to text you first.

Provide him with reasons to text you

It is a fairly straightforward situation here- try to understand why a guy should text you. Apart from the most obvious fact that he likes you, do you have a great conversation?

Are there any interests that you both share? Hobbies or favorite TV shows? If yes, then it is mostly like he would want to talk about these things with you.

Find out whether he is into texting

We have more or less mentioned this right at the beginning- try to figure out whether he likes to text in general. In the same light, there are guys who do not like texting and typing away for hours on their phones. Instead, they might want to chat over a phone call or see you in person.

If he hates texting, you might have a few conversations here and there, but he will not be the one to initiate it. Pay attention when a guy tries to cut short a conversation or hints at wanting to continue it in-person if might be for the fact that he does not like texting.

There isn’t much you can do about it. But you can be upfront about it. Try and tell him to text you when he is free.

Don’t text him first

You might have guessed it by now- if you want him to you first, you have to stop yourself from texting him first. Remember the first tip about not being available?

Be absent at times and make him miss you. Stop taking the initiative of texting him first and let him known that you have other things to do. By doing this, not only you will be opening the avenue for the conversation to begin later, but also push the ball in his court.

And you have guessed it right- it will get him to text you first. However, don’t be cold and brutal- the main goal is to keep him wanting to talk to you more. This is exactly where you are headed to.

Enjoy the time you spend together

You might think how this is relevant to getting the first text from him? But think carefully, when you are with him, focus on having a great time. In this way, he will actually enjoy your company and presence.

So if he has fun with you, he will definitely want to talk to you more often. The next time you are planning to spend some time with him, make sure to be yourself and just enjoy. In this way, he will genuinely understand why he likes you and you don't be surprised to find a text waiting for you as you reach home at the end of the day.

Happy Couple

Be yourself

In this process of trying to make him like you and text you, make sure that you don’t lose sight of yourself. By being your most authentic self, you will give him reasons to remember you. In other words, he will either like you for who you are, or you have to accept the fact that you guys are not a good fit.

If he wants to be with you for who you are, then he will think about you and would want to reach you. It might not be right after he reaches home, but you can find a text randomly.

Befriend his friends

This goes by the assumption that you have met them and you have spent time together. In recent times, it is not uncommon for men to take the women they might want to date for a house party with their friends- just to see whether the woman fits in with the crowd.

If you are on the same page and find yourself in such a position, grab it with both hands. Try and get along with his friends, and this will definitely increase the chances of him texting you first. He will definitely want to talk to you more often and be impressed with you.

Be upfront

At times a guy might not even realize that he has not texted you in ages. Or he might simply know that you will initiate a conversation and hence does not make the effort to text you first.

It is then time to be upfront about it. Ask him why he doesn’t ever text you. It is also crucial for you to mention that you like texting him and trying to initiate a conversation. But be sure to say that at times you are unsure of the right time to text or wonder whether you are bothering him. It is more likely that he will fix this situation.

Do away with the neediness

By this, we mean you should never exhibit any behavior that states your mood to be dependent on his texts. You do not need him to text you or to respond to your texts in order to get through the day. Such a mindset will only sabotage your relationship with the guy.

It is however a part of human behavior and does not necessarily make you a bad person. However, it will end up being a disadvantage for you regardless of the relationship. Moreover, your neediness might make him run for the hills and make him less likely to respond to your texts in the first place.

Text him when you are in a happy mood

Now, this perhaps seems to go against our initial advice of you not texting him first, but hear us out. It is very likely that in an extremely emotional state of mind, you might be tempted to text him. Don’t act on it! Such impulsive acts might put you in a tight spot which you would want to avoid at all costs. Consider sending him a text only when you are in a relaxed and happy state of mind.

Now that does not mean you cannot be true to your emotions and not show him how you feel about something. But reaching that stage of comfort where you can communicate with him effectively despite being emotional takes some time.


This is the very last reason why a guy has not texted you apart from him not being a texting person, or simply being dumb- he is not into you.

It is about time that you accept this and move on. Stop trying any further. You deserve so much better!