Will he miss me if I walk away?
Breakups are difficult to deal with. Whether it is mutually decided by two people or your heart has been broken or simply because you felt it was not working out with him anymore. Apart from the first case, you cannot stop thinking about him despite everything said and done. You do miss him a lot and want to get back to him. However, it is easier said than done. You have a gut feeling that tells you otherwise, or popular magazines say that it is a bad idea. Nevertheless, you want to know whether your absence makes any difference. Does he miss you when you leave him alone? Will it be a closed chapter if you don’t send those risky texts after a breakup? Will the space between both of you help to bring him back or has the ship sailed?
Let’s find out together to know whether he is thinking about you and reconsidering the break-up.
1. ‘Let’s be friends’ never works
It is time to be brutally honest- being friends with your ex never works. Period. Why do you ask? There are many reasons why being friends with your ex is a bad idea. Do not suggest this option, since it will only make you look desperate and clingy. That is not what you would want to portray yourself as.
Moreover, breakups are emotional. Not just for you, but for him as well. So trying to be friends with him is not a good option. But that does not mean you need to hate each other! You need to give yourself and the other person some time in order to process the breakup and the emotions that come along with it.
This time is crucial for you to understand whether he feels your absence and misses you. So disengage and disappear for a while in order to let him feel your absence.
2. Pay attention to how you look
The next step would be to take active steps in looking your best. Now we do not certainly mean that beauty is all about our external features. However, a healthy body and an active lifestyle are always attractive. Take up that gym membership or the yoga class that you have looked up on the internet. Start taking care of yourself. Gifting yourself some spa sessions, or take a hike. A trip to the salon to get your hair done has never failed to lift up spirits and make people look beautiful.
Instead of spending all your time trying to figure out whether he is missing you, focus on self-improvement. He will gradually come to see what he will see your potentials as a suitable partner grow. He might also question his decision to parting way with you!
3. Stay away from social media
While you might be tempted to stalk him on every social media platform, do not do it. Social media, in this situation particularly, will only make you more miserable than you already are.
One of the biggest temptations to overcome will be to exhibit passive-aggressive behavior and vent all your frustrations and anger on social media with cryptic statuses. So if you recognize yourself going anywhere near such a situation, take a clean break from social media. Your life will still be authentic, you will still have fun with your friends without spending hours on Facebook stalking him. If you cannot take a clean break, at least remove him from your friends’ list or hide your posts from him.
4. Stay busy
It is difficult to stay busy and be productive when all we want to do is gorge on a tub of mint chocolate ice cream on the couch and ball our eyes out while watching a Nicholas Sparks movie.
We won’t say to deny yourself time to grieve. Suppressing emotions is never a good option, so give yourself time. But make sure to pick yourself up and stop obsessing over him. This is simply for your own benefit and good- for your mental and physical wellbeing.
A healthy relationship requires two individuals who not only care about each other but also put in time and effort for themselves.
5. Let go of what you have lost
‘It is easier said than done' is exactly what you are thinking of.
While acknowledging a loss is important, holding on to it is not a healthy way of dealing with it. This is particularly applicable for those relationships where you might have felt lost- the loss of your identity and self.
It is not uncommon for people being in long-term committed relationships to feel this way. So this is the perfect opportunity to rediscover yourself, do things on your own, and enjoy it. Don’t lose your individuality just because you have broken up with him.
Indulge in a hearty meal which your ex hated with a passion. Be in your comfortable PJs, reach out to your friend whom he silently disapproved. Many times, space and time in a relationship can bring in a lot of clarity.
6. See your friends
The value of true friendship is often undermined by people in life. But in such painful situations, having one true friend can do wonders. Friends are one of the best support systems that one can rely upon without inhibitions. So make sure to reach out to them when you deal with a breakup.
However, be wary of mutual friends since you are moving on with your life and might not sit well with them since they are friends with your ex.
7. Do not jeopardize your self-worth
Often in cases of a breakup, and the idea of not being with a loved one is too painful and unimaginable. So we try to do whatever we can think of in order to change their mind. Or even worse, we try to convince ourselves that our desperation will bring him back.
But, we do not realize how detrimental it is to beg someone to stay- it reduces our self-worth and makes us even more vulnerable to being exploited in a relationship. So if you catch yourself exhibiting any of this behavior, try to keep your cool. Do not ask him to come back to you, no matter how much you want it.
8. Cease all forms of contact
When a breakup takes place, there is nothing in between. There are no ifs, buts, and maybes’. No contact is a part of it. So cease all forms of contacts, cut ties. It will do well for both of you as you will be able to save yourselves from a constant state of rehearsal. Keeping no contact will also buy you a lot of time to invest in yourself and let you analyze the relationship.
Take baby steps if necessary- begin with one week of no contact, and then continue to stick with the upcoming days. For every goal you reach, don’t forget to reward yourself.
9. Focus on living your life
Wallowing over him for a prolonged period of time will not get you anywhere. You only have one life to live. One relationship cannot put an end to it!
Begin to take the control of things that matter to you. Grab the opportunities and plan for the time that lies ahead of you. There is a bright and promising future lying ahead of you, and you only need to grab it with both of your hands.
Meet new people. It will help you take your mind off him. Make an effort in starting conversations, put yourself out in the world. It is one of the best things that you can do for yourself after a breakup. Try to live your life as normally as possible.
10. Accept the breakup as a mature person
We are not asking you to be the bigger person by renouncing all worldly pleasures. But in most cases, people tend to be bitter and resentful after a breakup.
So, try to be mature when it comes to a breakup- be cordial and polite, and wish him the very best. Not just for him, but for your peace of mind. It is crucial to let go of such negative emotions as it will help you to heal and evolve as a human being.
He might wonder, or even try to agitate you, and fill you with all sorts of doubts. He might wonder why you are so unaffected by the breakup. If you are truly the mature person here, he will end up with a lot of confusion instead.
At the end of the day, he will wonder why you are treating him like a stranger. He will question his worth and value in your life. He will try to analyze whether you hate him or whether he has hurt you.
As ironic as it might sound, the only way he can understand what you are truly feeling is by getting back to you.
So, many times getting him back only requires you to leave him alone after a breakup.