How to be Comfortable with Your Bisexual Identity?

How to accept and be confident with your Bisexual identity?

Sexuality is more fluid than most people assume it to be. The binary divisions of gender, sex, and sexuality that human beings have been doing for centuries have shackled their ideas of what exists in reality. As such, people with alternate sexuality that shifts from the mainstream sexual orientation often struggle to find their voice in society.

And even when the mainstream society wants to take a sneak-peek at alternate sexuality, they mostly look at homosexuality only. Other forms of sexual orientations such as that of bisexuality, asexuality, and pansexuality, among others, are heavily ignored or dismissed.

But just because they are ignored doesn’t mean that they need to stay that way. Change is coming and acceptance is being generated slowly and steadily across the globe. Bisexuality has often had various negative connotations attached to it and it is about time that those myths are broken.

What is Bisexuality?

Bisexuality refers to the sexual and/or romantic attraction towards both men and women, or in other words, the attraction towards more than one gender. In broad distinction of sexuality, it is one of three major wings of sexual orientation, the other being heterosexuality and homosexuality.

It should be noted that a bisexual person may not necessarily have equal levels of attraction to both men and women. It is extremely subjective and differs from individual to individual.

Just like any other form of sexual orientation, bisexuality is also not a choice. Although there is no specific explanation that causes bisexuality from a scientific point of view, it is believed to be the result of a complex interplay of hormonal, genetic, and environmental factors or influences.

The Varying Degrees of Bisexuality

A bisexual person does not necessarily have to have an equal degree of attraction for both men and women. This has even been backed by experts.

As per the American Psychological Association, a person doesn’t mandatorily have to belong exclusively to the heterosexual or homosexual category but instead can feel different levels of both. In other words, sexuality isn’t that rigid. Many people can float anywhere between these two major distinctions of sexuality.

This is the reason why different people discover their sexual orientations at different stages of their lives. It is not like a light bulb that switches on and informs that you are heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual.

Finding the Identity for Bisexuality

In your attempt to understand human sexuality, you need to look at the relationship between sexual orientation and sexual identity. Your sexual orientation doesn’t always have to line up with your sexual identity.

This means that you can be bisexual without necessarily having any sexual experience with either men or women. For instance, there are many bisexual people who probably have not had a sexual encounter with both genders. In the same line of thought, some bisexual people have not had any sort of sexual encounters with anybody for that matter.

Some would even define bisexuality as the sexual and/or romantic attraction to others irrespective of their gender or biological sex. This is more in line with pansexuality with a few differences since pansexuals are deliberately open to people who are men, women, and those who don’t identify as either.

Bisexuality v/s Biromantic

Let us shift our focus and try to understand the different implications presented to us when we dig deep into understanding the sexual vs romantic attraction in this bi-umbrella.

So far, we have stated what bisexuality is. So, let us figure out what is meant by biromantic behavior. Biromanticism refers to the romantic attraction of an individual towards both men and women, or in other words, towards more than one gender.

It should be noted that bisexuality and biromantic behavior can be mutually exclusive. This means that a person can be bisexual and not be biromantic and vice-versa. This is because, in practicality, human sexuality is extremely layered and is multi-dimensional.

For example, if a man is sexually attracted to both men and women but has romantic feelings for, let’s say, women, then that man is bisexual and heteroromantic. Another example can be of a man being sexually attracted to both men and women but only has romantic feelings towards men. In that case, the man would be bisexual and homoromantic.

On the other end of the spectrum, if a man is sexually attracted to only women, but has romantic feelings for both men and women, then that man is heterosexual and biromantic. Conversely, if a man is sexually attracted to only men but has romantic feelings towards both men and women, then, in that case, he would be homosexual and biromantic.

The same case applies to women as well. And if someone is both sexually and romantic attracted to both men and women, they are bisexual and biromantic or simply bisexual, to break it into simple terms.

Another thing that we must mention is that don’t get too caught up with all these if you don’t want to. At the end of the day, all of these falls under the same bi-umbrella, and as long as you are comfortable with what you have, that’s all that matters. Who cares about labels?

Is it Important to Label Yourself?

To begin with, the answer to this question is a straight-up no. If you don’t want to put yourself in a particular box, then you don’t have to do it just for the sake of it. Sexuality is extremely fluid and the entire process of discovering your sexuality can be a journey that for some lasts a lifetime.

So, feel free to explore yourself and you don’t necessarily have to check yourself into fitting a category. That being said, if you want to be out and proud and declare your sexual orientation and romantic inclination, kudos to you.

Figuring out the subtle differences between bisexual and biromantic behavior is extremely important sometimes. This is especially true for those who are facing confusion while coming to terms with their sexual orientation and identity.

All we want to tell you is that it is okay to fall in love and be sexually attracted to people irrespective of their gender. What you prefer can be subjective and need not necessarily match with someone you know of.

Some people may not understand you and might be intolerant towards you, which leads to discrimination towards you as a bisexual person, known as biphobia.

How to Deal with Biphobia?

Evident by its name, biphobia refers to the hatred or prejudice against bisexuals. The level of rampant biphobia that is thrown around is sickening and makes it extremely hard for bisexuals to live a free life.

Add to that, when you don’t have a lot of leading examples of bisexual people on media, you don’t have someone to look up to as your guiding light.

So, just because you don’t have anyone in your neighborhood, friends circle, peer zone, social network, it doesn’t mean that you are alone.

There would be many people who wouldn’t probably understand you. There would be people who might ridicule you or try to bring your morale down. Some might call you a freak but don’t let them get to you. Don’t let them break you down.

The saddest aspect of biphobia is that bisexuals get discrimination not only from the heterosexual community but also from the gay community. Many people bring up the ridiculous notion that bisexuals are extremely greedy and can’t decide on one particular gender to get attracted to.

These are completely false notions. If someone carries such beliefs, then you don’t have to associate yourself with them because they are definitely not worth it.

Change is Coming

Now, the positive news is that change is coming. With more awareness about gender, sex, and sexual orientation being spread across the globe, things are getting better than they have been so far.

Today, people are more tolerant of people with alternate sexualities. In fact, currently, there is a warm acceptance of people with alternate sexualities, including bisexuality. The perception of bisexual people has improved over the years and it is only expected to go on an upward positive trajectory from here.

This has been possible through better education and better representation of bisexual people in different forms of media. Although it is not enough, we embrace the change.

The earlier notion of bisexual people being sex-freaks who want to have their hands in every cookie jar is being slowly eradicated. There has been a spike in empathy towards bisexual people and the world is slowly turning into a better place for bisexuals. The road is long, but at least, people are now walking in the right direction.

Even a few years ago, you wouldn’t see dating websites and apps for bisexual people. But those exist today in the form of various popular websites that have now extended their branches to be inclusive of bisexual people. Some of them are as follows:

Wear Your Bisexuality as a Symbol of Pride

Coming to terms with an alternate form of sexuality is always difficult and can be a tedious process for most people. So, take your own time to be comfortable with it.

What frame of time worked for someone to come into terms with their bisexuality that you might have seen on television may or may not work for you. Every individual is different. So, learn from the experiences of others, take inspiration from them but don’t feel compelled to copy them.

Be the captain of your own ship. Come out when you want to come out. Come out to people whom you want to come out to. You don’t owe anyone any justification. If you don’t choose to come out, then that is also fine. Just put your safety and mental health at first.

Wear your badge of bisexuality with a sense of pride and fall in love with whomever you want to because no one can tell you whom you are allowed and not allowed to love.

The struggle that bisexual people have faced for centuries is real and it is about time and we crush those who try to demonize bisexuals. Everyone is equal and no one should have to face any sort of discriminatory behavior based on who they choose to sleep with or who they choose to love.

Try Online Dating for Bisexuals

Online dating has come a long way from its primitive days when everything seemed binary. Exclusive bisexual dating websites and apps are now fully in operation helping bisexual people get in touch with people of similar sentiments, thereby creating a sense of community.

The kinship and camaraderie that these bisexual dating websites and apps are creating in bring bisexual people together is highly commendable. They are playing the role of cupids by bringing lovebirds together. Moreover, they are also helping in eradicating the discrimination faced by bisexual people in general.

Many popular websites that earlier were only catering to straight relationships have now ventured into providing a platform for bisexual people. Whether you are looking for friendship, long-term relationships, casual dating, or hook-up, there is something for everyone on these dating websites and apps.

So, what are you waiting for? Sign up on one of these many websites and who knows, the love of your life might just be waiting for you on the other side of the screen counting for the moment you click on your keyboard.

Bisexuality is not a myth, bisexuality is not a phase that someone goes through, and bisexuality is not a hobby that someone takes up just because they are bored of dating the same gender.

It is a legit sexual orientation and no one has the right to dismiss it off. Knowing oneself is important and figuring out your own sexual orientation can be a long and complex process. So, just know that it is okay if you need time.

Love is love and no one should be judged on who they choose to love, irrespective of their gender. Although bisexuality for a long while was deemed as a taboo subject, in recent years, more acceptances have been generated in favor of alternate sexualities, including bisexuality.

We hope the aforementioned breakdown of the subtle nuances of bisexuality has helped you get a clear and better perspective on bisexuality and has helped in figuring out the process of how to come to terms with your own sexuality.

So, celebrate your sexual orientation, meet similar-minded people on the various bisexual dating websites and apps available to you and explore to give yourself a treat.